Time slips away...

I'm at that age (ahem, mid-40's) where I often contemplate the meaning of life or honestly, contemplate a host of things.  I am sitting here thinking where did that little 20-something go?  The girl with wide eyes, full of hope and dreams.  She's still here, full of hope and dreams, but filled with so much more.  The depth of wisdom and lessons I've learned.  The feelings of love, hope, sadness and loss all intermingling in this jumble of my brain.  Today, we buried an uncle of mine.  Although I hadn't really seen him in almost a year, his loss still flooded deeply in my soul.  I think of my Uncle Frog (yes, a fond nickname) and all my silly childhood memories.  He was sweet, had a gentle smile and a delightful sense of humor.  I remember as a small, very shy girl, him and my other Uncle Dean would tease me on how "noisy" I was.  I was painfully shy, talked very little but always liked hanging around the adults.  I always knew I had so much to learn from them.  So I would stay, and listen quietly to the carefree conversations our extended family often had on the weekends.  I've been very blessed.  I was not born into this family, but adopted only days old.  Yet they all treated me like their own.  We had a large extended family.  My Dad having 3 brothers and a sister; my Mom having 2 sisters and a brother.  On both sides of the family, we often got together on Sundays to eat together and just enjoy the company.  I feel so blessed to have spent all that time with so many family members.  I loved the large get togethers, even though I never was much of a social butterfly.  I just loved sitting and listening to the numerous conversations.  All those stories, all those experiences and lessons learned.  As I get older, our family shrinks.  Father Time steals them one by one, our family shrinking.  I'm so glad to have all those memories.  I oftentimes wonder if I shouldn't have been so selfish and bore my own children.  To share all the wisdom, all those sweet lessons, all that love.  I know I've never been one to even consider motherhood, but as I get older, I do wonder who will miss me when I finally cross over?  Who will carry on all those memories and stories of mine?  I suppose children really don't have to be ones you give birth to.  I don't even think they have to be children at all, but spiritually young souls. I feel perhaps my path here lies in teaching those what rolls around in my noggin.  I suppose that gives me some comfort.  For what is family really but a bunch of souls joined together in love.  It's time to start sharing and stop staring into space.  Love and family, it's all that really matters in life.  <3